Take a risk: be kind to a stranger
Every time I go to Trader Joe’s I keep a handful of gratitude tags in my pockets.
There are usually at least three people I end up giving them to:
person 1 is usually someone who helps me find the jar of sundried tomatoes staring me in the face from the shelf across the pickled olives;
person 2 is usually the checkout clerk; and
person 3 is usually the bagger.
Also, usually when I give them a handmade token of appreciation they smile and thank me back and carry on … it is to be expected. They have work to do!
Not this time.
Short-staffed on a weekday afternoon, this middle aged Indian man helped me find gluten free pasta and walked away before I could dig into my pockets to help another customer in dire need of pine nuts.
I figured I’d find him later.
As I approached the checkout line, my eyes searched for him … and sure enough he waved me to bring my cart to an empty station.
He didn’t seem to recognize me from 5 minutes ago. Asked me if I had any bags and, without making eye contact, carried on scanning the 36 items in my cart.
I hesitated.
His flippant attitude made me wonder if he would even appreciate the handcrafted mixed media tag I was clutching on to in my pocket.
It had taken me 35 minutes to make this…would he even care?
But, like I usually do after some initial hesitation, I wrote his name (thank you, name tags!) and a message telling him to continue being his kind and helpful self.
As he handed me the receipt, I said, “this is for you.”
It was the first time he made eye contact with me. “What is this?” he asked.
“Just a note to say thank you,” I answered politely, pulling the cart closer to myself, ready to walk out the door.
“Why? What did I do?” He looked confused.
“You showed up to work today and helped people,” I said with a smile. “And that deserves a thank you.”
He flipped the token over and read what I had written.
Then he looked at me, his eyes welling up.
“God bless you so much for this gift! Thank you. Thank you so much!”
He put the little tag up to his heart, clutching it with both hands.
I will never forget his smile or the surprised look on his colleague’s face as she walked up to ask if he was ok.
I hadn’t pegged him for an emotional guy.
He seemed socially awkward … and impersonal.
And never in a million years did I think he would cherish that little piece of paper the way he did.
Just goes to show one shouldn’t judge a book by its cover and one absolutely mustn’t withhold kindness even when it feels “weird.”
These little tokens are a powerful thing.
They not only make others feel seen, they help me reassess my own insecurities, assumptions and imposter syndrome.
They are courage, they’re art, they hold a bit of my heart.
And I love that they help me collect smiles.