This is extraordinary, and makes me even more excited that we have a plan to speak. I was covered in goosebumps reading it, Mansi. I've been fascinated by Indian culture and the caste system for my whole life and the Hindu gods, etc. I've read many novels about life in India and have so many feelings about the way people within this system do that dance of power and servitude.
"Amends for the times I stayed silent, for the moments I watched our maid accept humiliation with lowered eyes and didn’t speak up."
That quote. I don't know what time period of your life you're speaking of, but I'd like to offer another perspective. As your mother and father's child, you had no power, just like Rani. I don't believe it was possible for you to speak up and effect any kind positive change, especially as a child in a deeply ingrained religious/cultural/social structure. I guess I'm saying I don't think that you need to make amends or feel particulary guilty about not acting. I'm not telling you how to deal with this experience, it's yours, and only you can answer. I'm just saying maybe be a little more kind to the child, the daughter who was powerless. The fact that you see it, that you're doing right action is what counts. Rani is an example of living a life filled with grace no matter her circumstances. How beautiful that you got to have that interaction with her. You're a lovely human being. I'm so glad our paths have crossed. Keep seeing people and letting them know they are seen. It matters so much. American culture isn't that different is it? Nope. We need more people like you. Everyone needs witnesses. "I see you, I value you, you matter." We all need to hear that. All of us. Because most of us are broken in some way. Some of us are willing to do the work of healing, though. xo
Thank you for giving me permission to be gentler with my younger self.
Thank you, also, for taking the time to not just read, but to truly see and understand the layers of complexity in my story.
You're right -- as a child, I was as caught in the system as Rani was, just in a different way. While I understand this intellectually, there's still that voice inside that reminds me I chose to remain silent about this constant "abuse" -- for lack of a different word to describe this socially-accepted behavior of those "lesser than" -- between the ages of 17 and 20, when I was pretty vocal about other, more selfish concerns.
Perhaps, this is why these tokens feel so vital now as small reclamations of the voice I once struggled to find?
Rani has definitely taught me that dignity isn't bestowed by others -- she always smiles as she goes about her daily job, nurturing, sustaining, running the household where she's shunned.
And, yes, these hierarchies of human worth exist everywhere. They may wear different clothes in different cultures, but the core remains the same.
I'm looking forward to our conversation this week. There's something beautiful about two women from different backgrounds, histories and experiences coming together as harbingers of change, each in our own way, each carrying our own stories of transformation, brokenness and healing.
With much gratitude for your wisdom, your perspective and your openness,
Since November I’ve been trying to up my kindness game. I see that as the only way to get through the next several years; we all need to be kind to one another. I’ve been following you for several years and have made some tokens but I’m quite introverted and need to challenge myself to find the courage to hand them out. I have, however tried to be much more engaging with people in the service occupations. I try everywhere I go to ask people’s names if not provided and then thank them by name at the end of our interaction. Much of this over the last year or so is because of your influence. :)
I’m looking forward to your book and hope it will include help and ideas for us chickens who need examples of how to hand out our tokens.
Thank you for sharing your journey of intentional kindness with such honesty. You're absolutely right -- these times call for more connection, not less, and your efforts to learn and use people's names is already creating beautiful ripples of recognition.
Being people-averse myself, I completely understand the vulnerability in approaching strangers. Having my mini-me along has helped immensely because people assume she is too shy to hand over a token she made -- somehow the joy is immediate and uncomplicated when a child is involved. It's a lot more awkward for us as adults to receive something from other adults ... we just don't know how to.
But I have also found that when I start the conversation with: "What's your favorite color?" or "wow! it's busy here today. How are you holding up?" it helps get over that initial hurdle. Sometimes I don't say anything and simply slide the token toward them and smile. A conversation usually ensues when they realize it's something I made by hand for them.
I guess, the most important thing is to trust that your desire to connect is itself a gift. The world needs more "chickens" like us who, despite feeling nervous, choose to spread kindness anyway. Keep taking those small, brave steps.
Whether it's learning names or eventually sharing tokens, you're already making more of a difference than you know.
With gratitude for being a kindness ambassador,
Mansi.
P.S. Your ask for practical approaches is brilliant! I am including some suggestions -- gleaned from my personal experiences -- in the book that I hope will be helpful.
Dear Mansi, I look forward to reading all your newsletters and posting you do. You are so very inspiring to me. I always feel your love in your acts of kindness, I hope people feel mine as I freely give to them in my smile, in my offers to help, be it time, talent, food, or just sitting and listening, being a friend. All your life’s history and experiences have helped you become the person you are. You are one of those special earthly angels that I’m so glad to know through your writings and art work. I anxiously await getting your book once it published. I know there will be many ripples I’ll be learning from. ❤️
You know what moves me most about your note? How you understand that kindness flows in so many different streams -- through your listening heart, your offered time, your nurturing spirit.
Sometimes I think we focus too much on grand gestures, forgetting that a genuinely present smile or the gift of undivided attention can be the most profound form of recognition we can offer another person. Connection in its most basic form. Whether it's my watercolor tokens or your gift of presence...we're all creating ripples in our own unique ways.
Your anticipation for the book touches me deeply. But please know that you're already living its most important message: that every person has the power to make others feel seen, valued, and less alone in this world.
You do this naturally, authentically, in ways that are uniquely yours.
Thank you for your kind words also Mansi, you so fluently write, that’s one other thing I love about you. You are a wonderful writer. Yes we all have our talents, they come in many forms, none of them wrong. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone showed more kindness. It’s so easy to do.
Hope you don’t mind but I’d like to call you my Sista friend💗
Thank you Mansi for sharing your story. It is good to know how life can be so different for one we are used to. I’m glad you realized that we are all equal & share kindness to those who are not as fortunate.
Thanks, Julia. It's such a short time on this planet to be unpleasant to fellow humans. There is much kindness and love to offer and receive. I appreciate your being here.
Your heart is like the heart of Mother Teresa of Calcutta. You may know that I am Catholic, and what I have read and learned about Mother Teresa is that she bridged the caste divides in India. She brought love to the untouchables without trying to change them, without preaching to them, without doing anything except touching their humanity with dignity and kindness.
That is what you are doing in your "own corner of the world," as you say. I feel exactly as you do--that, despite the rising sense of powerlessness and hopelessness in Western culture, what I can do is start small. Start in my home. My community. My neighborhood. My grocery store. That's what I can do--and I will do--to bring a slice of light to a world that is darkened by its unacknowledged brokenness.
I cannot tell you how immensely grateful I am to have connected with you. It is such an incredible gift of serendipity. Truly. Thank you for who you are and what you bring to this world. And to me.
I am no Mother Teresa but I graciously accept your kindheartedness in taking my name in the same breath as hers 🥰
I think there’s a lot of power in small acts of kindness and I truly believe that they create ripples far beyond our understanding. We just need to continue believing that there is more good in this world than bad.
In all of my experiences with strangers I’ve learned that people want to respond to kindness with an overabundance of kindness…maybe not directed to me (sometimes I’ve already picked up that grocery bag or checked out of that cafe or boarded that flight) but in their next interaction. That’s how we repel darkness. That’s how we help people find their own light.
I love that you do it everyday in your interactions, Jeannie … it may not seem like a whole lot but each life you touch, touches so many more in return … connecting all of us in this invisible thread of shared humanity.
Thank you for being you! And it’s amazing that the universe has this amazing knack for connecting kindred spirits 🥰
I totally believe in what you call “the ripple effect,” @Mansi . In the past, I used to feel easily discouraged if my act of “kindness” was not immediately appreciated or reciprocated. Now I just act generously or kindly in the moment, when I am compelled to, and I have zero expectations for how, when, or even if it will be received. Because I BELIEVE that somehow it’s shedding some level of goodness and human decency in the world and therefore will have an effect far beyond what I could imagine or want. I truly believe that, and it’s what motivates me to show up every day.
I LOVE Paula's response! And yours to her, Mansi! The two of you are being the BEST versions of yourselves! (I don't know how to leave a couple of hearts here, but they're implied.
Mansi, I love the new name! Thank you for sharing your story! You are so right. Every person was created in God’s image and should be treated with dignity. What an inspiration you are!
Mansi, thank you for articulating the "why" of your kindness so profoundly. Having just read the story of your past, I'm deeply touched by your intentional efforts to allow others to feel seen and appreciated. I have wondered (hoped) many times across my life whether that act alone could make the difference for someone. I still believe it can.
Your connection with Rani is beautiful. What a powerful testament she is to self worth and dignity.
May your ripples touch lives far beyond your awareness!
Thank you for sharing such an honest and candid look at your childhood. That you carry this with you says so much about the art you make and the ways in which you are putting kindness and appreciation into the world.
“But I did hear. I did understand. And every time I chose not to speak, I became complicit in maintaining the status quo.”
It seems that you were a child. There is nothing you could do to change anything. Reading this, I wish you peace… that you can let go of some of what you seem to carry. Your acts of kindness are beautiful gifts of heart and a wonderful example your daughter has grown up seeing. They don’t have to be amends.
I’m starting to make tokens using pre-drilled pieces of watercolor paper that I will thread a tassel through so that they can be used as a bookmark or hung somewhere to remind the person that they were appreciated. I may eventually teach an online class to show others how easy it can be to make a small piece of art to give to someone who has does something meaningful for that person. I’ll start by creating a few pieces and share them with my monthly get together with a few friends in and near my neighborhood. I’ve always been very verbal in thanking people for what they do for me in the moment and I’ve given thank you gifts to individuals as well as groups of people who have made a difference in my life but now it’s time to spread the love on a daily basis to individuals who brighten my day by having a positive attitude, being patient or gentle with me, or for other what you might think of as normal ways to treat people but what doesn’t happen by everyone on a regular basis. It’s amazing how good I’ve felt thanking people around me who may not be thanked even once each day and my goal is to make people feel loved and appreciated and possibly want to do the same to others.
Thank you Mansi for starting to teach those around you this uplifting tangible gesture of love. I know that it will have the domino effect and the world will become a better place because of your efforts.
This is extraordinary, and makes me even more excited that we have a plan to speak. I was covered in goosebumps reading it, Mansi. I've been fascinated by Indian culture and the caste system for my whole life and the Hindu gods, etc. I've read many novels about life in India and have so many feelings about the way people within this system do that dance of power and servitude.
"Amends for the times I stayed silent, for the moments I watched our maid accept humiliation with lowered eyes and didn’t speak up."
That quote. I don't know what time period of your life you're speaking of, but I'd like to offer another perspective. As your mother and father's child, you had no power, just like Rani. I don't believe it was possible for you to speak up and effect any kind positive change, especially as a child in a deeply ingrained religious/cultural/social structure. I guess I'm saying I don't think that you need to make amends or feel particulary guilty about not acting. I'm not telling you how to deal with this experience, it's yours, and only you can answer. I'm just saying maybe be a little more kind to the child, the daughter who was powerless. The fact that you see it, that you're doing right action is what counts. Rani is an example of living a life filled with grace no matter her circumstances. How beautiful that you got to have that interaction with her. You're a lovely human being. I'm so glad our paths have crossed. Keep seeing people and letting them know they are seen. It matters so much. American culture isn't that different is it? Nope. We need more people like you. Everyone needs witnesses. "I see you, I value you, you matter." We all need to hear that. All of us. Because most of us are broken in some way. Some of us are willing to do the work of healing, though. xo
Dear Nan,
Thank you for giving me permission to be gentler with my younger self.
Thank you, also, for taking the time to not just read, but to truly see and understand the layers of complexity in my story.
You're right -- as a child, I was as caught in the system as Rani was, just in a different way. While I understand this intellectually, there's still that voice inside that reminds me I chose to remain silent about this constant "abuse" -- for lack of a different word to describe this socially-accepted behavior of those "lesser than" -- between the ages of 17 and 20, when I was pretty vocal about other, more selfish concerns.
Perhaps, this is why these tokens feel so vital now as small reclamations of the voice I once struggled to find?
Rani has definitely taught me that dignity isn't bestowed by others -- she always smiles as she goes about her daily job, nurturing, sustaining, running the household where she's shunned.
And, yes, these hierarchies of human worth exist everywhere. They may wear different clothes in different cultures, but the core remains the same.
I'm looking forward to our conversation this week. There's something beautiful about two women from different backgrounds, histories and experiences coming together as harbingers of change, each in our own way, each carrying our own stories of transformation, brokenness and healing.
With much gratitude for your wisdom, your perspective and your openness,
Mansi.
xoxo.
Hi Mansi,
Since November I’ve been trying to up my kindness game. I see that as the only way to get through the next several years; we all need to be kind to one another. I’ve been following you for several years and have made some tokens but I’m quite introverted and need to challenge myself to find the courage to hand them out. I have, however tried to be much more engaging with people in the service occupations. I try everywhere I go to ask people’s names if not provided and then thank them by name at the end of our interaction. Much of this over the last year or so is because of your influence. :)
I’m looking forward to your book and hope it will include help and ideas for us chickens who need examples of how to hand out our tokens.
Thanks for your inspiration,
Paula
Dear Paula,
Thank you for sharing your journey of intentional kindness with such honesty. You're absolutely right -- these times call for more connection, not less, and your efforts to learn and use people's names is already creating beautiful ripples of recognition.
Being people-averse myself, I completely understand the vulnerability in approaching strangers. Having my mini-me along has helped immensely because people assume she is too shy to hand over a token she made -- somehow the joy is immediate and uncomplicated when a child is involved. It's a lot more awkward for us as adults to receive something from other adults ... we just don't know how to.
But I have also found that when I start the conversation with: "What's your favorite color?" or "wow! it's busy here today. How are you holding up?" it helps get over that initial hurdle. Sometimes I don't say anything and simply slide the token toward them and smile. A conversation usually ensues when they realize it's something I made by hand for them.
I guess, the most important thing is to trust that your desire to connect is itself a gift. The world needs more "chickens" like us who, despite feeling nervous, choose to spread kindness anyway. Keep taking those small, brave steps.
Whether it's learning names or eventually sharing tokens, you're already making more of a difference than you know.
With gratitude for being a kindness ambassador,
Mansi.
P.S. Your ask for practical approaches is brilliant! I am including some suggestions -- gleaned from my personal experiences -- in the book that I hope will be helpful.
Dear Mansi, I look forward to reading all your newsletters and posting you do. You are so very inspiring to me. I always feel your love in your acts of kindness, I hope people feel mine as I freely give to them in my smile, in my offers to help, be it time, talent, food, or just sitting and listening, being a friend. All your life’s history and experiences have helped you become the person you are. You are one of those special earthly angels that I’m so glad to know through your writings and art work. I anxiously await getting your book once it published. I know there will be many ripples I’ll be learning from. ❤️
Dear Pam,
Thank you so much for your kind words.
You know what moves me most about your note? How you understand that kindness flows in so many different streams -- through your listening heart, your offered time, your nurturing spirit.
Sometimes I think we focus too much on grand gestures, forgetting that a genuinely present smile or the gift of undivided attention can be the most profound form of recognition we can offer another person. Connection in its most basic form. Whether it's my watercolor tokens or your gift of presence...we're all creating ripples in our own unique ways.
Your anticipation for the book touches me deeply. But please know that you're already living its most important message: that every person has the power to make others feel seen, valued, and less alone in this world.
You do this naturally, authentically, in ways that are uniquely yours.
I am so grateful for you.
Hugs,
Mansi.
Thank you for your kind words also Mansi, you so fluently write, that’s one other thing I love about you. You are a wonderful writer. Yes we all have our talents, they come in many forms, none of them wrong. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone showed more kindness. It’s so easy to do.
Hope you don’t mind but I’d like to call you my Sista friend💗
I do not mind at all Sista friend 🤗
Thank you Mansi for sharing your story. It is good to know how life can be so different for one we are used to. I’m glad you realized that we are all equal & share kindness to those who are not as fortunate.
Thanks, Julia. It's such a short time on this planet to be unpleasant to fellow humans. There is much kindness and love to offer and receive. I appreciate your being here.
Mansi,
Your heart is like the heart of Mother Teresa of Calcutta. You may know that I am Catholic, and what I have read and learned about Mother Teresa is that she bridged the caste divides in India. She brought love to the untouchables without trying to change them, without preaching to them, without doing anything except touching their humanity with dignity and kindness.
That is what you are doing in your "own corner of the world," as you say. I feel exactly as you do--that, despite the rising sense of powerlessness and hopelessness in Western culture, what I can do is start small. Start in my home. My community. My neighborhood. My grocery store. That's what I can do--and I will do--to bring a slice of light to a world that is darkened by its unacknowledged brokenness.
I cannot tell you how immensely grateful I am to have connected with you. It is such an incredible gift of serendipity. Truly. Thank you for who you are and what you bring to this world. And to me.
I am no Mother Teresa but I graciously accept your kindheartedness in taking my name in the same breath as hers 🥰
I think there’s a lot of power in small acts of kindness and I truly believe that they create ripples far beyond our understanding. We just need to continue believing that there is more good in this world than bad.
In all of my experiences with strangers I’ve learned that people want to respond to kindness with an overabundance of kindness…maybe not directed to me (sometimes I’ve already picked up that grocery bag or checked out of that cafe or boarded that flight) but in their next interaction. That’s how we repel darkness. That’s how we help people find their own light.
I love that you do it everyday in your interactions, Jeannie … it may not seem like a whole lot but each life you touch, touches so many more in return … connecting all of us in this invisible thread of shared humanity.
Thank you for being you! And it’s amazing that the universe has this amazing knack for connecting kindred spirits 🥰
I totally believe in what you call “the ripple effect,” @Mansi . In the past, I used to feel easily discouraged if my act of “kindness” was not immediately appreciated or reciprocated. Now I just act generously or kindly in the moment, when I am compelled to, and I have zero expectations for how, when, or even if it will be received. Because I BELIEVE that somehow it’s shedding some level of goodness and human decency in the world and therefore will have an effect far beyond what I could imagine or want. I truly believe that, and it’s what motivates me to show up every day.
Kindness is the best motivator there can be, Jeannie. Keep being you!
I LOVE Paula's response! And yours to her, Mansi! The two of you are being the BEST versions of yourselves! (I don't know how to leave a couple of hearts here, but they're implied.
Mansi, I love the new name! Thank you for sharing your story! You are so right. Every person was created in God’s image and should be treated with dignity. What an inspiration you are!
Mansi, thank you for articulating the "why" of your kindness so profoundly. Having just read the story of your past, I'm deeply touched by your intentional efforts to allow others to feel seen and appreciated. I have wondered (hoped) many times across my life whether that act alone could make the difference for someone. I still believe it can.
Your connection with Rani is beautiful. What a powerful testament she is to self worth and dignity.
May your ripples touch lives far beyond your awareness!
Thank you for sharing such an honest and candid look at your childhood. That you carry this with you says so much about the art you make and the ways in which you are putting kindness and appreciation into the world.
“But I did hear. I did understand. And every time I chose not to speak, I became complicit in maintaining the status quo.”
It seems that you were a child. There is nothing you could do to change anything. Reading this, I wish you peace… that you can let go of some of what you seem to carry. Your acts of kindness are beautiful gifts of heart and a wonderful example your daughter has grown up seeing. They don’t have to be amends.
I’m starting to make tokens using pre-drilled pieces of watercolor paper that I will thread a tassel through so that they can be used as a bookmark or hung somewhere to remind the person that they were appreciated. I may eventually teach an online class to show others how easy it can be to make a small piece of art to give to someone who has does something meaningful for that person. I’ll start by creating a few pieces and share them with my monthly get together with a few friends in and near my neighborhood. I’ve always been very verbal in thanking people for what they do for me in the moment and I’ve given thank you gifts to individuals as well as groups of people who have made a difference in my life but now it’s time to spread the love on a daily basis to individuals who brighten my day by having a positive attitude, being patient or gentle with me, or for other what you might think of as normal ways to treat people but what doesn’t happen by everyone on a regular basis. It’s amazing how good I’ve felt thanking people around me who may not be thanked even once each day and my goal is to make people feel loved and appreciated and possibly want to do the same to others.
Thank you Mansi for starting to teach those around you this uplifting tangible gesture of love. I know that it will have the domino effect and the world will become a better place because of your efforts.
Kim xo