Very well written. I'm almost 71 years old and also an only child. I grew up in the US, and was not pushed to a specific profession, but always had the sense that I needed to be the best. My parents were loving but not very hugging and rarely congratulatory. I almost wonder if that is a generational thing. However, my dear Dad, after my Mom had passed away, once introduced me as his best friend. There was no higher praise. I think I made them proud. I did better than the children of their friends and family. So I'm going to take that best friend comment as a success!!
Thanks for sharing, Kristine. I applaud your dad for having the courage and gumption to express his appreciation for you -- I DO think it's a generational thing where reserving affection and being stoic equated to "good parenting." Parents didn't want to show vulnerability and emotion because it, to them, looked weak. I'm glad we've moved away from that way of thinking...
I hear you, Mansi! And I felt you ... your night vs. day descriptions of your parents' reactions to who they wanted you to be vs. who you really are ... your silent hope for their approval and encouragement to which they were oblivious ... the pearls of talent, wisdom and joy within you to which they were completely blind.
My childhood was half & half. My mom totally "got" me and saw all my dimensions and potential; my dad only recognized the few pieces of me that were like him. Somehow, I survived my childhood with my self-esteem mostly intact.
You write beautifully. You are brave. Your daughter is so fortunate to have you! I am humbled by your honesty, your commitment to opening up to us "strangers" and the strength you have to invite our reactions. I hope you feel the virtual hug I am sending you ...
Very well written. I'm almost 71 years old and also an only child. I grew up in the US, and was not pushed to a specific profession, but always had the sense that I needed to be the best. My parents were loving but not very hugging and rarely congratulatory. I almost wonder if that is a generational thing. However, my dear Dad, after my Mom had passed away, once introduced me as his best friend. There was no higher praise. I think I made them proud. I did better than the children of their friends and family. So I'm going to take that best friend comment as a success!!
Thanks for sharing, Kristine. I applaud your dad for having the courage and gumption to express his appreciation for you -- I DO think it's a generational thing where reserving affection and being stoic equated to "good parenting." Parents didn't want to show vulnerability and emotion because it, to them, looked weak. I'm glad we've moved away from that way of thinking...
I hear you, Mansi! And I felt you ... your night vs. day descriptions of your parents' reactions to who they wanted you to be vs. who you really are ... your silent hope for their approval and encouragement to which they were oblivious ... the pearls of talent, wisdom and joy within you to which they were completely blind.
My childhood was half & half. My mom totally "got" me and saw all my dimensions and potential; my dad only recognized the few pieces of me that were like him. Somehow, I survived my childhood with my self-esteem mostly intact.
You write beautifully. You are brave. Your daughter is so fortunate to have you! I am humbled by your honesty, your commitment to opening up to us "strangers" and the strength you have to invite our reactions. I hope you feel the virtual hug I am sending you ...
What a beautifully written piece. Thank you for being so vocal about your experiences
Thank you for making the time to read, Devika. I appreciate it.